Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Journeys


Lately, I've been spending a lot of time on cloud 9.

I feel as if God has provided me with clarity and courage. I had an important doctors appointment on Monday night.
((Perhaps, back-tracking is necessary. Sunday was Mother's Day. Mother's Day is so very difficult for my husband and I. It brings on a sadness in us.))

I feel as if God took my sadness from Sunday and turned it in to courage for Monday.

At my doctor's appointment, I finally came forth with my desires and my decision. ((Well, my decision that my husband supports....))

I explained to the doctor that I was tired. So tired. So tired of this empty womb. This fight has been long and hard and I'm FINALLY willing to accept additional help (hence clarity and courage).

She listened to me as I sat there in the robe and just poured my soul.
She really listened. God blessed me with a wonderful doctor.

She even consoled me because I was literally shaking like a leaf during the entire exam. You see, I have a "fault" (if you want to call it that). I am amazing at helping anyone and everyone before myself. So for me to admit I'm going to need further help is a huge huge ordeal.

We decided we're not going to do this alone. Not only do I have my hubby and my God on my side - I am now in the process of forming an official team of doctors to help us.

PCOS is so highly misunderstood.
Infertility is so highly misunderstood.
But what IS understood is that we are blessed.

I called the insurance company on Tuesday and the road I have chosen is pretty much covered. I'm so blessed to have finally had the courage.

I know that there will be some road blocks ahead of us.
I know that there will be some pain involved.
I know that this isn't going to be an easy road.
But I also know that God is on my side.
My husband is on my side.
And I've got several angels watching over me.

I'm so thankful that God has provided me with the courage to move on... to move forward. I know He'll be with me... with us... on this journey.

It's not going to be easy.

And I know some people are quite weary.

But God is on our side.

1 comment:

ash0714 said...

I am so glad your appointment went good, I hope the path you have chosen will guide you to what you have been waiting for. This being my first Mother's Day dealing with infertiltiy I didn't think it would relly effect me, but I was so wrong, by the end of the day I was in tears. I really admire your strength and determination, and thank you for being someone I can talk to about all of this. Hopefully next year we will both be celebrating Mother's Day with our beautiful children.

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