Friday, July 8, 2011

GET MAD! REALLY MAD!!!!

I've been having a few conversations lately with fellow cysters about my journey from pcos/infertility to present day pregnancy.


I feel honored to be considered an inspiration to them and really... our journey doesn't just spring from our love and determination and our faith in God. Don't get me wrong, all of those things are/were important.

I have an incredibly supportive husband who researches/researched PCOS just as much as I do/did. And we never doubted God because we truly believe if God gives you the desire, He'll give you the outcome. It's just on HIS time - not YOURS.

But really... we got here in a sense.... from a big GIANT MOOD SWING! And to think... PCOS gals have mood swings so PCOS was hurting us and helping us.

I remember it clearly. Mother's Day 2010 was incredibly depressing for me/us. It was another Mother's day with no child of my own to share it with. That Monday I went in to see my PCP and I was just LIVID with everything. From my weight to my thyroid to my erratic cycles to the shape of my uterus through the size of my ovaries. I was just DONE with PCOS and determined to NEVER ever have another "barren" Mother's Day.

I remember raising my voice at her and saying "LOOK YOU HAVE GOT TO HELP ME BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING THROUGH ANOTHER MOTHER'S DAY WITHOUT A CHILD AGAIN.... EITHER COME UP WITH SOME GREAT DRUGS FOR ME FOR MOTHER'S DAY OR GET ME THE HELP I NEED.... NOW."

She came back in with a list of doctors she'd recommend and told me to research them, interview, and make a decision and let her know where I was going from there.

And that's when I met Dr. P - he ran tests I didn't even know about. He checked every single inch of my body from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. He took an insane amount of notes while recording me and LISTENING to me. He took me seriously when I told him what hasn't worked and what I'm not willing to do. He took me seriously when I told him I didn't want another pill pushed on me, I didn't want a band-aid fix ---- I wanted answers. He took me seriously when I told him I'd leave if he were planning on just giving me a Rx for metformin and the pill and sending me on my merry way. There is more to PCOS than what the eye can see and just swallowing pills wasn't on my plan. Still to this day he describes me as his most stubborn patient yet because I took the hard road to get here.

We went through interviews, exams, ultrasounds, labs, etc to find what was what - what wasn't working enough and what was working too much. We figured out that my thyroid was a real S.O.B. and I needed to have it maintained every 3-5 weeks and not every 2-4 months. We discovered that I needed more FAT in my diet and I had enzyme deficiency issues which contributed to my struggle with weight loss in addition to the thyroid issues. We had TWENTY-THREE viles of blood drawn. We communicated. I researched. He researched. We brainstormed. We were/are a team.

Treatments for the thyroid and my blood issues began immediately. We got my cycles to behave themselves. We kept communicating, testing, analyzing, etc.... and finally --- we got HERE.

But it all really came from a big giant mood swing at first.

I had "hit bottom" in a sense. I was DONE. I invested my time in attacking this 24/7 whereas years ago I just got mad when I did or didn't get my period. I fought pcos every single day.

Do I still have PCOS? Oh heck yea. But now I'm in control. And I'm lucky because I have a doctor who has stood by me and listened and a husband who has fought PCOS with me 100%.

So when cysters ask me how we got here...

I tell them to GET MAD! GET FIRED UP! FIGHT IT 24/7! THIS JOURNEY IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE... IT CAN JUST FEEL THAT WAY! DON'T GIVE UP!

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