Meet Eleanor... always with me....

Meet Eleanor, my Nana, holding me as a baby.

Meet Eleanor, my Nana, always with me.

My Nana died on Christmas day of 1989. She's never left me though. Never. She's always been with me and visits me often. Sometimes she likes to throw us for a loop and make my broken music box (that she and my Poppy made) play music. She's silly.

My Nana likes to say hello to us through music. Specifically, the song "Forever Young" by Rod Stewart. When we hear that song, we know she's popping in to say hello.

My Nana was COOL! She designed really sexy clothing for rockers at a store called Hyper Hyper (now called Warrior) in Philly.

My Nana designed clothing for me all the time. Special dresses for every occassion. One of my favorite childhood memories involves me in her living room, standing on the coffee table as she took measurements for her next masterpiece.

My Nana was known for pulling teeth. She'd pull loose teeth out of random children with her secret ingredient (Pepsi)!

My Nana would make scrambled eggs for us and put A1 sauce on it. Don't knock it till you try it.

My Nana always smelled so good and was always up to date with the latest fashion.

My Nana could whip your butt in BINGO. She didn't mess around.

My Nana was the queen of obnoxiously large and overflowing Easter baskets.

I was my Nana's only grand-daughter. She used to have a wall of nailpolish and would do my nails.

My Nana took me to see "The Little Mermaid" (my favorite movie) one week before she died. I think she knew she was ready for Heaven because that year, my Christmas dress was black velvet.

I have all these wonderful memories of her and she died when I was only in second grade and she's still never left me.

Two weeks ago, hubby and I had a date night. We decided we would go to Babies-R-Us and walk around a bit. Now... some background information is necessary.

When you are dealing with PCOS and infertility for nearly five years, Babies-R-Us (and baby showers) are avoided like the plague. You just don't go there. Too painful. So going to this store to just look around is SCARY!!!

Every morning when I wake up I thank God for this miracle. For this blessing growing inside of me. I think of my other Cysters and I think of their journeys. I find myself worrying from time to time that something terrible will happen and this baby will not be born. When you go through the pain of our past, you'd feel this way too. So going to babies-r-us, as silly as it sounds - was an overwhelming experience.

So when we walked inside the door, I stopped immediately and listened. And playing on the radio was.... "Forever Young." Thank you Nana, for always being with me and letting me know it's going to be okay. Thank you God, for always reminding me of my journey and our blessings.

And Mom... you can stop crying now. :)