Thursday, April 8, 2010

Hope for Belinda, and all "Belinda's"

After posting this entry on this site and on my personal journal I went to bed and woke up to the most beautiful email with a comment to the entry. It was from my dearest friend, Belinda. While my Belinda is one in a million, I'm sure there are many "Belinda's" out there. Myself included.

Her comment read: "Seriously, I love you. And I needed this. Thank you for putting things into perspective for me and giving me a moment to just tell myself to breath it all out... you are just what I need in my life, and I am thankful for you."

I cried as I read this beautiful comment. I'd like to reply to my Belinda - and all "Belinda's out there"...

My dearest Belinda,

It's so unfortunate to discover that conceiving is easier said than done.
It's challenging, heart breaking, frustrating and painful.
Troubles with infertility cause you to doubt yourself, your body, your destiny, and especially your faith.
There are no magic words to heal the pain of disappointment.
There are no magic words to heal the pain of a miscarriage either.

But there is one "thing"... and it has taken me nearly four years to realize this...

God has a plan for you.
God has a plan for me.
God has a plan for all of us.

Rejoice in your love of your husband.
Rejoice in your love of life.
Rejoice in yourself, and your strength.

I wish I could take away your pain. I would if I could.
I wish I could answer your questions. I wish I could answer my own.

But I've learned that the most powerful lesson is that there needs to be Trust. And I've learned that it's okay to get angry with God from time to time. He's listening to you always. It took me a long time to realize that. So take the time to flip out. It helps. God hears you, you are not alone. And remember - I'm only a phone call away.


Proverbs 3: 5-6

1 comment:

BelindaBarnes said...

I think it is amazing that as we both walk through this journey, you have managed to hold onto, if not grow stronger in, your faith. For me, it has been a struggle to just stay faithful at all, yet you are growing and praising God daily in your life. I envy you for that.

You are such a beautiful person inside and out, and it bothers me that someone with that much love and faith and ability to be a great mother has to suffer and wait, while there are many women who should never conceive that are like a puppy mill...and it sucks away my ability to see my faith in a positive light, if that makes sense...

But anyway, you help me have more faith. Thank you for that, and thank you for loving me back and helping me even when your own heart is breaking.

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