Saturday, January 29, 2011

Are you so hungry to own more money that your money owns you?
In Matthew 13:44-46, Jesus says, "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it."

Jesus tells about two men, both of whom sold everything for the kingdom of heaven. To those men, God's eternal kingdom was so valuable that they were willing to give up everything they had in order to invest in it.

That's exactly the same attitude God wants us to have toward wealth. Money is an excellent servant but a terrible master. Unfortunately, many people in society are mastered by their money, unable to control their greed.

Yet God is more important than all these things in the world. He requires that we be willing to sell all for Him.

Mark 10:17-22 tells the story of a rich man's encounter with Jesus: As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. "Good teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"

"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good -- except God alone. You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.'"

"Teacher," he declared, "all these I have kept since I was a boy." Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

He owned great wealth, but really his wealth owned him. Remember that where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21).

This man's heart was so attached to his money that his money owned him. His attitude is very different than that of the two men, who sold everything for the kingdom of heaven.

If, like this man, you become so hungry to own more money, be aware that really your money will own you.

Thursday, January 20, 2011


Wow! It’s really happening.

Hubby and I are feeling incredibly blessed an optimistic.

Since October, I have menstruated on my own every month and on time. And I’m fairly sure I’ve been ovulating. Our last appointment was wonderful. This month we’ve been put on a “schedule” and from now until the 23rd we’re putting in our best effort for positive results if you know what I mean.

I was talking to my RE about ovulation prediction kits and the PCOS woman and if they were worth our time and money. He had said that truly it depends on the woman, but most of his PCOS patients do not use them. He relies completely on lab work to really see what is going on. So on the 26th I’ll be going in for a day 22 progesterone test in hopes that I did truly ovulate. We’ll test closer to the beginning of the month.

This is just SO exciting for me.

Things are working and I just know God has something wonderful in store for us.

Last night I weighed in at weight watchers and I’m down another 0.6lbs. I’m actually happy with this loss even though it is tiny because I’m literally one pound away from a number I haven’t seen for YEARS. Very excited about that. Plus, last week I was down 3.6lbs so I really wasn’t expecting a big loss this week. I forget exactly how much weight I’ve lost since December 1st, but I think it is 16 or 17 pounds. And if you’re a “cyster” you KNOW that’s a lot. I’m pleased with the new program.

All in all things are going incredibly well for us.

I admit, that a small part of me is just waiting for some sort of “piano” to drop on our heads.

If there is one thing this struggle has taught me, it is to truly trust in God’s Grace and Will. God is in control. We’ll do our parts, but ultimately it is up to Him.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A worthy email forward

Sometimes I get those really annoying e-mail forwards. You know.... the kind where you need to send it on to 30 people in 30 seconds for fear of gaining 30lbs while you sleep...

I liked the one I received today from a co-worker. :)

Someone has written these beautiful words. One must read and try to understand the deep meanings in them. They are like the Ten Commandments to follow in life all the time.

1] Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble; it is a "steering wheel" that directs us in the right path throughout life.

2] Do you know why a car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the rear view mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, look ahead and move on.

3] Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

4] All things in life are temporary. If going well enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong don’t worry, they can't last long either.

5] Old friends are like Gold! New friends are Diamonds! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a base of Gold!

6] Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!"

7] When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.

8] A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision."

9] When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them; and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES; it takes away today’s PEACE.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

100th entry!

PCOS is a Teaser Storm. Hear me out...
Today we had a two hour delay for work. For those of you who do not know, I am a high school special education teacher. I absolutely LOVE my job. LOVE it! I work for an amazing district with amazing people and I have amazing students. However, there is something magical about the two hour delay. You get to stay home a little longer, snuggle a little longer, enjoy peace for a little longer.
Today I got to thinking about PCOS and TTC (trying to conceive). You're going to have to follow my line of thinking here...
As much as I love the two hour delay, an unexpected snow day is also nice. It's almost as if I could relate the two hour delay and a snow day to trying to have a baby with PCOS. The two hour delay is like a teaser... like ovulation.... you finally get something.... but not enough. And all you want is that BIG snowstorm.... or, in my case, the BFP (big fat positive)
It's hard to get my point across.
I guess you wait and wait and wait and you do whatever medical interventions need to be done (in my case getting my hormones balanced) and you hope for a positive test but sometimes you just have to settle for an on time cycle.
I guess what I'm saying is I've been waiting and waiting for a big giant snow day (because you're never too old to play in the snow) and I've also been waiting for the BFP.... and right now I'm just DELAYED.
I know God will provide but I'm feeling antsy. We FINALLY have my body figured out and know why it does and does not do things. And now that we have the hard stuff taken care of, I'm just feeling incredibly clucky and anxious to meet the baby our love creates.

Monday, January 17, 2011

More on Almonds

Benefits of Almonds for "Cysters"

Almonds Provide Double-Barreled Protection against Diabetes and Cardiovascular Disease

Lessening after-meal surges in blood sugar helps protect against diabetes and cardiovascular disease, most likely by lessening the increase in cholesterol-damaging free radicals that accompanies large elevations in blood sugar. This is one reason why low- glycemic index diets result in lower risk of diabetes and heart disease.

Almonds appear to not only decrease after-meal rises in blood sugar, but also provide antioxidants to mop up the smaller amounts of free radicals that still result. (Jenkins DJ, Kendall CW, Journal of Nutrition)

Researchers fed 15 healthy subjects 5 meals providing a comparable amount of carbohydrate, fat and protein: 3 test meals (almonds and bread, parboiled rice, and instant mashed potatoes) and 2 bread control meals. Blood samples, taken before each meal and 4 hours afterwards, showed levels of protective antioxidants increased after the almond meal, but decreased after the other meals. And not only did the almond meal increase antioxidant levels, but unlike the other foods, almonds also lowered the rise in blood sugar and insulin seen after eating.

Further research shows that eating almonds along with a high glycemic index food significantly lowers the glycemic index of the meal and lessens the rise in blood sugar after eating. (Jones AR, Kendall CW, Metabolism)

In this study, after an overnight 10-12 hour fast, 9 healthy volunteers were randomly fed 3 test meals and 2 white bread (high glycemic) control meals on separate days. Each meal contained 50 grams of carbohydrate from white bread eaten either alone or in combination with 1, 2, or 3 ounces of almonds. To check subjects' rise in blood sugar, blood samples were taken for glucose analysis immediately after eating, and at 15, 30, 45, 60, 90 and 120 minutes.

Eating almonds reduced the glycemic index (GI) of the meal and subjects' rise in blood sugar in a dose-dependent manner - the more almonds consumed, the lower the meal's GI and the less the rise in subjects' blood sugar after eating.

When one-ounce of almonds was eaten along with white bread, the GI of the meal (105.8) was comparable to eating white bread alone, but when two ounces of almonds were consumed with the white bread, the GI dropped to 63, and when 3 ounces of almonds were eaten, the GI was only 45.2 - less than half the GI of the white bread only meal.

Subjects' blood sugar rose 2.8 mmol/L after eating only white bread. When one ounce of almonds was eaten with the bread, blood sugar rose 2.2 mmol/L. Eating two ounces of almonds with the bread resulted in a rise in blood sugar of 2.0 mmol/L, and eating three ounces of almonds caused blood sugar to rise only 1.6 mmol/L - less than half the rise seen after eating white bread alone.

Practical Tips: Don't just enjoy almonds as a between-meal snack. Spread a little almond butter on your toast or down the center of a stalk of celery. Add a handful of lightly roasted almonds to your salad or chop and use as a topping for pasta, steamed or healthy sautéed vegetables. When eating foods with a higher glycemic index, including almonds in the meal can help keep your blood sugar under control.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Rob Thomas - Her Diamonds (Video)

I absolutely love this song.

It reminds me a lot of my husband.

Even though he can't necessarily do anything to make me feel better when my body decides to do something ... unexpected.... he does everything just by being there with me. :)

I'm blessed. careful when you knock down a Christian. We fall right to our knees...and u know who's comin then! Amen!

((saw this on a friends facebook and thought it was worthy of sharing))

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Laminin....get it? LAMB-IN-IN!!!

Louie Giglio - Laminin

A rant about excuses...

Having PCOS is not easy. It's not. Let me explain why...
  • You feel confused as to why certain things are happening with your body.
  • You feel confused as to why certain things are NOT happening with your body.
  • You have a variety of symptoms and issues.
  • And if you're lucky... IF you are lucky, you have a good doctor who knows what they're doing and can help you. However, good doctors seem to be lacking for some of my friends. Luckily, I am very blessed with an amazing doctor (now) but I know what it is like to have the bad doctor (then).

With this said, I find excuses to be unacceptable.

Yes, PCOS causes weight.

It does.

Very true.

BUT ladies, you NEED to be PRO-ACTIVE for YOU.

You NEED to recognize the symptoms of PCOS and if you have them, you NEED to see a doctor. And don't stop seeing the doctors until you feel there has been a plan set, a resolution.

Simply saying, 'Oh yea I have PCOS so my doctor just put me on the pill' is NOT acceptable at all what-so-ever.

Please ladies, be ADVOCATES for yourself.

Have ALLLLLL the bloodwork done.


This is YOUR body. This is YOUR life. Don't SETTLE because it's easier.

Furthermore, in regards to weight loss... it IS possible. HOWEVER, if you want to be successful with it you really need to make those appointments and have that bloodwork done, you NEED to know what you are dealing with - for some it is insulin resistance, for some it is hypothyroidism, for some it is high cholestrol or high blood pressure, for some it is testosterone. For many, it is ALL of these and then some.

Ignoring you have PCOS is a problem.

Blaming PCOS for your size is unacceptable. Your size CAN be changed but it all depends on YOU.

::rant over::

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Oh God, you heard the cry of Hannah -
Please hear my cry tonight.
You made the skies drop manna,
And help Israel through their plight.
You are able to part the seas,
You are the one who is able to heal,
You answered the saints on bended knees,
And now before you I kneel.
I’m not a saint by any measure,
But I come to you just the same.
I hope that you find pleasure
In my humble worship of your name.
And please won’t you grant to me
This longing of my heart?
Won’t you set me free
And make this pain depart?
I’m not asking the impossible,
Just a child to call my own.
Only you can make it possible -
To bring a child into our home.
So I bring my broken heart,
And I cry a pool of tears.
Please Lord give me the part
That has been missing all these years.

~ L.D. "Daviso" 11/13/2005
The Circle
For all the woman I have come to know, who share the unfortunate experiences of Infertility

“Welcome to the family”, they all said to me.
“We’re here and we will help you, though we wish it not to be.”
No one wants to join this circle, but God chose us to be part,
To help out those who need it, to mend a broken heart.

We are women on this road called life,
Who carry on through heartache and strife.
We are sisters with one goal in mind, we have not reached just yet.
To one day be called “Mother”, we pray that we are let.

So for now we band together, to cheer and to support
We lift our lowly hearts to God, and pray in one accord.
“God give peace to all our sisters, and maybe even joy,
And someday fill our hearts and hands with a little girl or boy.”

~ Susan Reardon
Life’s Greatest Lesson

I would gladly trade places
With the women I see.
The joy on their faces,
Why can’t that be me?

They complain of stretch marks,
And sometimes of heartburn,
Their feet may get swollen.
Then stomachs in turn.

I would gladly trade places
With the women I see.
But instead battle daily
With Infertiltiy.

My months filled with charting
And days filled with meds.
I lie on white sheets
Of hospital beds.

But if I traded places
With the women I saw,
I’d miss life’s greatest lesson
Trusting God with my all.

~Susan Reardon

Some dream of big houses
Or shiny new cars,
Ours is to someday
Hold a baby that’s ours.
Some dream of more money
To hoard and to keep,
Mine is to someday
Rock my baby to sleep.
Some dream of careers
In buildings so tall,
His is to someday
Toss his kid a baseball.
Some dream of great power
To be strong and tough,
Ours is to someday
Have a child to love.
Some dream of things
Such as silver and gold
Ours is of the day
Our child we’ll hold.

~Susan Reardon
The Day I Hate

Some days I’ve learned to dread
More than all the rest,
Difficult to get through
I try my very best.
The day I hate most of all
Always comes in May,
It happens each and every year
We call it Mother’s Day.
In church they’re given flowers
At home a handmade card,
Dad making everyone some lunch
Kids playing in the yard.
Reminds me what I do not have
Instead of what I do,
A little one to give a hug
And say, “Mom, I love you”.
Tomorrow I will live again
Just let me mourn this day,
I pray that I can make it
Through another Mother’s Day.

~Susan Reardon
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard Him say.

"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby's not with you?"

"Yes, you can," He replied
With confidence in His voice
"I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay."

"I just don't understand this God
I want my baby to be here."
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.

"I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child's smile,
With all the other children and say...

'We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come strait here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'

"So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson's through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart
it's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start

Though some on earth may not realize,
you are a Mother.
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one!"

--Author Unknown. Comment if you know who wrote this so I can credit

Monday, January 10, 2011

Top 7 Diet Tips For PCOS

Crystal Bowersox - Up To The Mountain (Studio Recording) [iTunes Version...

Because sometimes...

there are blessings with infertility. I need to keep that in mind as we go through this journey. Through the power of social networking, I've helped other women and they've helped other women. And not just women... men, too!

Many Christians can’t bear to live without understanding why they’re being subjected to trials. Sometimes these thoughts come to mind...

*Did someone come to know Christ because of my pain?

*Did I experience personal spiritual renewal because of walking through this valley?

*Did someone return to their walk with God after seeing what we’ve been through?

*Have I become more equipped to comfort others because of my experience?

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.

These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

PCOS awareness

PCOS can sometimes be defined as unfortunate.

This of course is my opinion.

I just feel that it is unfortunate that it exists.

I feel it is unfortunate that there are women out there with PCOS who have absolutely no idea that the health issues they're having has a name.

I find it unfortunate that it seems as if primary care physicians are hesitant to diagnose it.

I decided to write to the Dr. Oz show in hopes he does a show on PCOS. I truly feel that it is necessary and I trust he would put a good spin on it.

He wrote back!

I am so excited! On Friday I came home to a letter from my doc. A handwritten thank you note for my thank you note. HA! I am going to treasure it forever. I didn't expect him to write back, I just wanted him to know how much he meant to me.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Thank you note

Below is a Thank You Note I wrote to my doctor...

Dear Dr. P,
I wanted to send you a letter of thanks. Words can’t even begin to describe how grateful I am to have found you and your practice. For YEARS I have felt as if I were “broken” with no hope of being fixed until I met you.

From the young age of thirteen I knew something wasn’t right with my body. I just knew it. My parents and my family doctor assured me time and again that it was simply puberty causing the weight gain, the confusing periods, the bad skin. Sometimes the city air (Philadelphia) was even to blame! As I got older, the pounds came on regardless of how active I was. In college, I went to a new doctor who basically told me “oh just get some exercise and you’ll be fine.” He never once listened to me (even when I told him my diet and workout routine). I started to become comfortable being bigger. I started accepting that surely after all these years, the doctors just have to be right because they are the ones with the medical degree – not me. After graduating from Mansfield, Mark and I moved closer to his family. We lived in Ephrata where I once again changed doctors. This time I met Dr. Avadanian. I once again told this man all about my diet and my struggles with my weight. I told him of my concerns about my body and my cycles. His solution: phentermine. I lost 40lbs in one month. Of course I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, and I was exceptionally moody after 6pm – but hey, I was in my skinny jeans! Mark ended up flushing the medication and the weight came right back on. I was at my wits end.

I finally received the diagnosis of “PCOS” in 2005 when we moved to Myerstown. However, not much was explained to me at all. Most of what I know about PCOS I have learned on my own. I’m learning lots more through YOU. I was simply given some metformin and an Rx for the pill and sent on my merry way. In May of 2010 I hit my limit. My weight was annoying and my efforts seemed pointless. Mother’s Day was spent in tears. I went in to see my PCP and told them rather bluntly that we need to figure me out, that I’m exhausted of feeling this way and I refuse to have another barren Mother’s Day. They recommended I find a specialist. I found you.

During this Holiday Season, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on my journey with PCOS and infertility. It’s almost as if no present under the tree will match what you have given to me. You have given me hope. You have given me your time, your patience, and your expertise. You have listened to me, and you have heard me. To me, this is the ultimate Christmas gift.

I finally feel like I am in control. I am down eleven pounds already since joining weight watchers. I feel more active and energetic since starting the glumetza. Let’s be honest, what high school special education teacher is up at 7am on a Saturday excited to go to the YMCA?

I would not have been able to do any of these things if it were not for you. Some would argue that you were simply doing your job and I put the effort in. However, if you hadn’t taken the time to sit down with me on multiple occasions, to explain what was going on with my body, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am today. You took the time to examine me. You took the time to listen to me. You took the time to run the proper tests to figure out what on earth my body was and was not doing. These gifts are priceless.

Part of me feels compelled to write to past doctors and urge them to simply listen to their patients, but it’s not my style. It’s almost as if I were in a bad relationship for years and now I’ve finally found the person who treats me right.

So again, thank you. Thank you for taking the time to get to know me as a person and a patient. Thank you for restoring my faith and self-image. Thank you for giving me hope. Thank you for listening. Thank you for explaining. Thank you for being you.

This Christmas will truly be our best ever because you have not only given me hope, but Mark as well. You are indeed a blessing to us and I felt the need to put it in writing and tell you.

May God Bless You and Yours during this Holiday Season.

With love and gratitude,



I can't believe I did not post about this here!

I think my New Year's Resolution should be to keep this blog more up to date!

I had my big appointment on the 17th and everything was PERFECT! My doctor was very happy with my hormone levels. They are now in the "extremely healthy" range. Furthermore, he is very pleased with my progress with weight watchers. I did have a tiny Holiday slump in regards to weight loss but I am down about 12lbs which for me is A LOT to lose in the period of 4/5 weeks. That never ever happened in the past.

I go back in April for my next appointment and he is HOPING and I am definitely hoping to be pregnant by then. We shall see!

God has amazing things in store for us. :)


Lately I've been following Dr. Oz.

I don't know why, perhaps it is because I'm a teacher and I was on Winter Break from the 24th until the 3rd.

Anywhoo, watching his show made me think about other women with PCOS and I'm hoping that he does a show on PCOS or if SOMEONE does a show on PCOS.

The View had a show this summer on infertility but I think they did a poor job at explaining PCOS.

Perhaps I'll write Dr. Oz a letter!!! :)

Thank you, Fitbit!

My Fitbit Charge HR broke.   I took it off and it just ... broke.    I got in contact with FitBit customer service and even though my...