Listening

National Infertility Awareness Week is among us.    

This is a week that I definitely find myself in a more reflective state.   I think a misconception is that when women who struggled with infertility end up "beating" infertility with a living baby... they forget their journey.   At least, sometimes that is how it FEELS.   

Elliot will be eight this fall.   I literally had to pause as I typed that sentence.

Eight.  WOW.

I remember when we first started trying for him.   It was our one year wedding anniversary.   We were so naive.   We thought the biggest obstacle to overcome would have been morning sickness.   

Through our infertility is where I learned about PCOS and basically all the things not working in my body.   We struggled on so many levels.   It was hard seeing pregnant bellies.   It was hard being around any babies, even family.    And sometimes, it was even hard being near friends and family.  Hell, we have friends and family NOW who constantly cancel plans on us... and we get it!  We understand it!   We've been there and done that!   

Infertility is "one of those things" that you really don't "get" unless you're "IN IT."  

I remember my first miscarriage, and some asshole said something to the effect of, "Oh, you weren't THAT far along, just keep trying."   Idiot.   Wrong wrong wrong.

Or even better... "just relax."

And the kicker for us PCOS women.... "Oh, just lose some weight, you'll be pregnant in no time!"  

As our struggles became more and more frequent and the frustrations rose, I would receive all sorts of commentary from the peanut gallery -- none of which was requested.    

As I reflect on this week, I need to note that in my experience, one of the best gifts given to me through Infertility was the gift of a listening ear.   Not a reacting ear.  A listening ear.   Sometimes you just need to let it out, to listen, and be heard.   You don't need someone to tell you their advice, or their experience.   You just need someone to listen.

If you are reading this, please know I am here and willing to be the listener for you.   

I SO get this.   I comprehend it.   Because the reality is... Elliot is going to be 8 years old this fall.  However, his older brothers and sisters before him, would be turning 9, 11, 12, and 13.  

I have not forgotten my journey.   I will not stop advocating for this cause.   

I'm here to listen.    I get it.   I really, really, do.